Monday, 9 February 2015

Me on Monday - 9 February

It's a gloriously sunny day here today.  The kind of day that puts a spring in your step and a smile on your face.  A day when you pop to the local Homebase store for a couple of paint 'matchpots', see a display of pretty little plants and buy a pack on impulse. A day when you pop round to your daughter's house and plant a few bits of colour in her front garden as a surprise.  This is me on Monday!
 
There's been a few tears around here this weekend.  The kind of 'happy you've found a new home of your own but boy, I'm going to miss you' tears.  Our son has been gradually piling up all his possessions in boxes on our landing and I've kind of got used to seeing them there.  I was very brave when we had our 'I don't care how old you are, you're still my boy and I'm going to miss you lots' hug on the driveway just before he got in the van.  Not so brave as the van drove off. Pulled myself together, went round to our daughter's house and threw myself into helping her make furniture and put up wooden blinds. Then totally lost it when we came home.  I walked upstairs and the first thing I saw was an empty landing.  No boxes, no guitar cases, no random bits of clothing.  Just carpet.  And I opened his bedroom door and it was quiet and it was empty of all his books and computers and record players and all the things that made it his room.  And I cried.  He's moved out before, but there's always been a 'coming home' date.  Three years in Sheffield at uni, then two years in Edinburgh.  But this time it's long term.  I know it and I'm happy that he's following his own route, settled with his girlfriend and making their new home in London.  But the big part of me that makes me his mum is missing his presence.  My daughter summed it up so well as she stood on the driveway crying too - 'I wish I hadn't taken it for granted that he was here.'  So we've given ourselves a good talking to, I mean, good grief, he is only 45 minutes down the motorway, it's not as if he's gone back to Tanzania!  And he could easily meet up with his sister after work any day in London. 
 
So our nest here is a little emptier, only a few weeks now and our other fledgling will be gone too.  Thank goodness she'll only be five minutes down the road!  
So after waving our son off this weekend, let's pop over and give a wave to Sian who had the idea for Me on Monday.

10 comments:

Jane said...

with four children who have all left home I know just how you feel x

scrappyjacky said...

I do feel for you having been there....but mine KEEP coming back!!

Alison said...

It must be odd , the feeling that he's really gone...although Kirsty isn't often here her room is still HER room ....I can't actually imagine a day when she actually really moves on! Xx

Karen said...

Oh Deb - you made me well up at the prospect of things to come. Sending a huge hug xxx

Sian said...

Gulp. I'm sending you a bit of virtual company and cheer this morning. When I think about my two moving out I wonder how my Mum felt now when I got married at 22..didn't really think about it at the time x

Be good to yourself this week!

Fiona@Staring at the Sea said...

It must be very strange. One of mine will be on his way soon, for three years at least. The other is moving on too, but we're going with her!

Be kind to yourself xx

alexa said...

Ahhh, I remember this too ... Beautifully described. Hoping there will be a rush of enjoyment and energy as you work out how to live afresh in the new spaces!

Maria Ontiveros said...

This really choked me up. I don't want that day to come

Starnitesky said...

Deb - I know how you feel, my son moved back last year and left again a few months ago, except he is renting a room in a shared house so has left most of his belongings behind!!

Rachel B said...

Sending virtual hugs, I have all this to come. Yikes! :)