Monday 14 April 2014

Karaoke Quilting

I've realised that there is a distinct pattern to my method making of things. Also known as the Sing-along method (bear with me)
First I need the idea. The 'my life would be so enhanced if I made a ...' thought. The Aretha Franklin stage. 'Think! Think about what you're trying to do sew for me'
Then comes the 'this is what I need to make it'. Which involves diagrams that only I can decipher.  Workings out and calculations that make no sense at all. This moves onto a more streamlined drawing and the realisation that I have mixed metric measurements with inches so all my calculations are wrong. This is also known as the 'back to the drawing board stage' or The One Direction stage. 'You're insecure, so half of four, your old brains are not what they were before'

Impatience then sets in as I rearrange my plans so I can visit the fabric shop or delay tackling the ironing pile until I have spent at least an hour trawling the internet. Fabric is bought.  Fabric is stroked and folded. Laid out in various orders to work out which one sits best next to another. The Grease stage.  'We go together like grey stripe, squirly blue, rama lama ding dong'

Calculations are checked and double checked. Fabric is smoothed out and measured. Rotary cutters are held. Rulers are moved around. This is known as the 'Rod Stewart' phase.  'The first cut is the deepest, baby I know ...' And so the cutting begins. There is always one anxious moment when either the ruler moves or the lack of maths knowledge brings doubt.
There is then a longer pause, while I contemplate the task ahead. This frequently causes a delay. But I know that this is followed by the 'Dinner is going to be late because I've lost track of time' or the 'I'll just do one more row' phase. Yes, this is the Diana Ross and the Supremes stage 'You can't hurry quilts, no you just have to wait ...'
But we are approaching the burn out stage, I've quilted for too long without break and I'm hitting the 'I've still got so much to do' part which means that we do actually get to eat dinner and shirts do get ironed as I have exhausted the initial excitement.  After giving myself a good talking to, I battle on and reach the The Sylistics Stage 'Let's put it all together'.
Also known as the 'Coco get off that fabric' phase as we all know that anything left on the floor is an easy target for a dog who loves to lay on soft things.
Backing is smoothed, wadding is laid on top and the pretty bit is added. This phase is best carried out while the dog is either in the garden or out on a walk, because at this point, the newly emerging quilt is irresistible bedding potential.
Pinned and sandwiched together we are heading for the homeward straight. Just in time for the 'I can't remember how to fit this walking foot on the machine' phase. But then it's on and the almost finished quilt is on my lap and being fed through the machine. The Kate Bush stage 'I'm running up that hill, I'm stitching in that ditch ...'
We now enter the 'I will never make anything this wide again' phase as huge folds of fabric threaten any chance of sewing a straight line. 
But we are nearly there now, binding is cut and Mr Google is consulted for how to mitre a corner. This is known as the Sound of Music phase 'Doe a deer a female deer, ray a drop of golden sun. Me a name I call myself, Far a long long way to roam, Sew a needle pulling thread ...'
I sit in the sunshine, with quilt on my lap, dog by my side and with the final few inches of hand sewing to do we reach the 'I'm so sad this is finished. What can I do next?' 
And so the circle do crafting is complete!


Sian said...

Brilliant! Not that you're finished, but I can imagine you singing as you work. As I like to say when I'm scrapbooking - "Play loud music, make more pages faster"

If I crack Granny squares I might do a crochet about that?

Fiona@Staring at the Sea said...

Love it! I'll be thinking which tunes go with each stage when I'm sewing later!

ComfyMom~Stacey said...

The math was always a problem for me when I was quilting. I had to draw scale pictures & count the graphing squares to feel sure.

Susanne said...

Well, now I'll have those songs playing in my head for a bit. Thanks - love Areatha!

Anonymous said...

Love it! A whole new take on quilting. :)