Memorandum Monday

Memorandum Monday is brought to you by a subdued corner of Deb's World this week.  By rights it shouldn't be subdued after the excitement of this weekend's most recent purchase -

My old faithful sewing machine died on me on Wednesday.  She's seen me through 35 years worth of projects, clothes for me, baby clothes, nativity play costumes, dozens of various dance outfits, PE bags, curtains, alterations and quilts.  The miles of thread we've shared! But her time had come to an end, and the excitement of choosing a new machine took over any sentimentality.  I browsed the internet, I researched and I asked friends for recommendations, then I sat my husband in the café at John Lewis while I test drove a few machines.   They're so quiet.  They're so light to pick up.  They're so clean and shiny and full of press button wizardry.  They have self threading needles!  Times have changed! She's already seen some quilt action and the new baby quilt is now finished except for hand sewing the binding.

So I shouldn't be subdued should I?  Not with that beauty sitting next to the dining table ready for a new project to be slipped beneath her bright shiny feet.  But I am.  And it's all down to work.  And office politics.  But the benefit of that angst is that it has brought me a topic for something new I did today.  I stopped bottling it up.  I stopped fretting about it while on dog walks.  I stopped rehashing conversations in my mind.  I figured there is no point in being quietly overworked, overwhelmed by deadlines and swamped by extra work because someone else has failed to keep up to speed.  So I emailed my line manager on Friday.  I asked her for a quick meeting this morning.  I didn't elaborate.  And of course I fretted about how I would open the conversation and what I would say, and more to the point, what she would say in return.  I woke in the mornings this weekend rehearsing whole scripts of dialogue.  Trying to think of answers to all eventualities.  I printed off emails to prove my points that I was coping with my own work well, all was going to plan and I was well on track.  I had 22 hours worth of work a week and 22 hours in which to do it.  It's the other work that's causing the problem.  Work that other people have run out of time to do themselves.  Work which shouldn't be my work. To help others meet their deadlines, I have been sacrificing my own schedules and putting myself under more pressure.  The morning of the meeting arrived, I was prepared. But anxious because I don't 'do' confrontations well.  And I have a horrible habit when feeling totally frustrated or angry to have a little cry. 

I pitched up in the office with paperwork and tissues (and a hidden bottle of Rescue Remedy.  Just in case.) And we sat and we chatted.  And she hadn't realised how much extra work I'd been absorbing.  And she agreed that if a certain member of staff who is now pushing a lot more work my way had kept to her deadlines back in March, this situation would not have happened.  Turns out I am a little too good at just keeping my head down (and mumbling under my breath) and getting things done.  And so we came up with a plan.  A plan where I could get on with my own work and not jeopardise my own deadlines by other people's bad organisation.  Where more straightforward work would be delegated somewhere else.  So, in the spirit of learning something new on a Monday - thanks to Sian - I have learnt that it's sometimes worth being brave and having the courage to say 'enough'.  Sometimes you have to learn to say 'no' and pass any delegating onto someone else higher up in the chain of command.  It doesn't come easily, I'm too much of a team player to not want to offer to help someone else who is struggling.  But I've learnt today that being brave and instigating discussions isn't quiet as scary as I thought.

Here's to a less pressurised week!