Coping strategies

Isn't it strange how we spend 18 years teaching our kids to be independent, encouraging them to do things for themselves and have their own opinions - then you suddenly realise that you have succeeded and they don't need you to do things for them any more.
Sending a child off to uni is a tough thing to do. You know that it is a great opportunity for them, and a life changing experience. But it's so hard to know that if a problem arises, they are a long way from home. I think the way most mums cope with it is to go into extreme 'Mother Hen' mode, making lists of things they need to take, buying those things, checking all the correspondence to make sure they have EVERYTHING sorted in advance and trying to anticipate every little thing they may come up against. We need to know that we have done all we can. It won't bother them if they have to go out and buy a can opener when they get there because it got left off a list but it will matter to us!
You would think that 2nd time around it would be easier - it isn't! When our daughter went to uni 4 years ago I don't think any of us realised what it would be like and there were certainly a lot of ups and downs in that time! We missed her so much, and there were times when she was homesick too. Times when problems occurred and we felt so helpless 150 miles away. But she sorted them and dealt with them and became stronger along the way.
So now it is time for our son to go and our house is becoming full of boxes of 'things'. Things for bedrooms, things for kitchen, things for the course ... So long as I keep busy, remembering to gather together these things, I am still doing my 'mum' job. But I know that on 20 September, when we wave goodbye and start that long drive home from dropping him off, it will feel like a little bit of me has been left behind.
One good thing about 2nd time around is that you have the benefit of experience, knowing that by teaching them independence you have given them the basic tools of looking after themselves. They will cope, they will deal with whatever life throws at them, they will have fun. It is so lovely to have our daughter home again and being a 'hands on' mum again and that makes it easier for when our son goes, but I'm still dreading that long drive home in September!